


The Top Percentage Thief

by QuestionableCorrosion



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pokemon GO
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 00:44:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8035639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuestionableCorrosion/pseuds/QuestionableCorrosion
Summary: The most unlikely thief wreaks havoc among the wealthy, and the most likely team leader team-up joins forces to catch them. That's the plan, anyway.Also, no-one finds a Tangela.





	The Top Percentage Thief

**Author's Note:**

> Original [prompt](http://paljonmeluatyhjasta.tumblr.com/post/150394756365/so-has-anyone-really-thought-about-youngster-joey) from paljonmeluatyhjasta on Tumblr.

"Professor Willow," a young journalist in a yellow parka called out eagerly, waving an enormous camera. "In your own words, mind describing the situation so far?"

Professor Willow cleared his throat and took a swig from a glass of water before responding. "Unfortunately, as the first several thefts didn't come to light until much later, we cannot form a perfectly accurate time-line. However, it is now believed that the first crime took place about nine months ago, when a former gym champion discovered he had misplaced a pair of diamond-encrusted cufflinks, as well as ten thousand dollars."

He paused, giving the cavalcade of journalists gathered around the impromptu press table time to write his words down. "After similar crimes began trickling into the police's attention, a case was made for a serial burglar, and a new inquiry was opened. As it progressed, it became apparent that not only were these crimes committed by the same individual or group of individuals despite the geographical distances, but that the thief only stole from the country's very richest people. I believe that is when the press dubbed them the 'Top Percentage Thief.'"

Cameras flashed as Professor Willow continued. "There has been a lot of nasty business involved with the incident since then. Copycat thefts. People hiding their valuables and blaming the Top Percentage Thief, attempting insurance fraud. Frankly, I hope tonight's operation will be enough to put an end to this crime spree so that we may collectively place our focus back on the things that truly matter in life."

"Like Pokémon?"

"Yes, like Pokémon."

"Can you tell us more about the operation?"

Professor Willow cleared his throat again. "As Operation Shellder is still on-going, I cannot divulge too much information. To put it plainly, as the Top Percentage Thief grew famous, the wealthy began taking more measures to protect their possessions, and have been more vigilant in reporting anything missing. Thanks to the faster communicating between law enforcement and victims of the thief, it has now been deduced where they plan to strike tonight. I may reveal that I am acting as a consultant in this case, and that both Team Leader Candela and Team Leader Blanche are participating in surveilling the area."

"So, that's two of three great team leaders. What about—"

"Yes, Team Leader Spark is here too. He is graciously offering us his invaluable moral support."

(At the sound of his name, Spark stood up from the bush in which he had been waiting to ambush a Tangela his Pokémon radar had _sworn_ was almost on him. He quickly shook his head to get the leaves and twigs out of his hair.)

A journalist with short, green hair quirked her eyebrow. "I believe Mr. Spark was supposed to be at this press conference?"

"Yes, well, I believe he briefly stepped away to—"

"I'm here!" Spark raised his hand into the air and rushed back to the press table, still holding a freshly caught Nidoran in his arms. "Sorry, I got sidetracked."

There was indistinct chuckling from the audience, and Spark saw a journalist leaning towards another to whisper something. He ignored them and focused on recalling his Nidoran to its Pokéball before sitting down next to Professor Willow. People were always laughing and whispering near him. It didn't mean he had to care about it.

"Mr. Spark." Another journalist, this one wearing sunglasses and a mauve polo shirt. "Do you have any comments on the profile the police have gathered on the thief? Any additions, perhaps?"

"Um." Honestly, since the thefts didn't have anything to do with Pokémon, Spark couldn't have cared less. He was only there because Professor Willow had asked him to come, and because his friends had told him showing up was free advertisement for Team Instinct. "Well, they showed pictures of some of the stuff they stole on TV. There was this sweet Pikachu pendant and also this Snorlax alarm clock with jewels. So I think they like really cool stuff."

More chuckling, louder this time, along with murmurs. It continued until Professor Willow raised his voice. "If you'll excuse us for a minute."

He turned away from the crowd and pulled Spark along with him. There was a warm smile on his face, but his eyes were sad. "Spark."

Spark smiled back, hoping to alleviate some of Professor Willow's obvious unease. People were sometimes rude to him, but Professor Willow was never anything but gentle and fatherly, and Spark wished nothing but the very best for him. "Yeah?"

"If you'd like to go and discuss strategy with the other team leaders, you're free to go. I seem to have the press somewhat under control."

"You sure? Thanks!" Spark didn't need to be asked twice. Nothing was more boring than looking on as other people answered uninteresting questions, except for having to answer them himself. He ducked away from the press table and moved deeper into the area among the high-rise buildings, which was temporarily closed from the general public and teeming with cops.

He quickly located Candela and Blanche, facing each other a little further away, both looking like they had just tasted something sour. He waved at them with both arms. They either didn't notice or ignored him, but he couldn't let that discourage him, so he sauntered towards them regardless.

"All I am saying is that you're a fool if you think you can rely on people for large-scale surveillance like this." Blanche's voice was as icy as her eyes. "What do you think the police have attempted so far? You're merely repeating their mistakes."

Candela cracked her knuckles. "Keep telling yourself that. Just don't come crying back to me when your—" she made air quotes with her fingers, "'special surveillance system' doesn't cut the mustard."

"I'd rather have a single camera at my disposal than a hundred of your goons."

"Then you're an idiot. My sentries have Growlithes with them, ready to sniff out anyone suspicious. What do your cameras have, besides shockingly low battery life?"

"We have invested on back-up batteries since last time," Blanche said primly. "Still, I must concede you have a point. Using Pokémon alongside the cameras would be ideal, but even the most suitable Pokémon in the region, Meowth, has severely lacking night vision." She sighed. "It's a pity there are no Noctowls in this region."

Calenda gave her a wan smile. "Finally we agree on something."

"Hey guys," Spark chimed in, sensing a lull in the hostilities. "I could really go for something sweet. How about after this, we all go get some pudding together?"

Candela's glare could have burned through steel.

"Spark." Blanche turned towards him with a raised eyebrow. "Mommies are talking right now. Save it for later."

"Fine." Spark reactivated his radar and stepped aside, whistling under his breath. Since the other leaders clearly had everything under control, he had plenty of time to catch a Pokémon or two. Maybe even that elusive Tangela was still hiding somewhere nearby.

He waded into the crowd, smiling at everyone whose eyes he met. Some smiled back. There were even quite a few Team Instinct members milling about, much to Spark's joy. Many trainers had their buddies on display, too, either held in their arms, or else sticking to their sides like glue. Spark admired them all as he passed by them, from Rapidashes to Dratinis, from tiny Bulbasaurs to one ginormous Gyarados.

Then, he caught sight of a youngster in comfy shorts holding an unusually large Rattata. The Pokémon's fur was glossy and its eyes shone with exceptional lustre, and yet it looked as strong and tough as the meanest wild Rattatas lurking in the sewers.

"Hey, that's an awesome Rattata!" Spark closed in on the trainer and crouched down for a closer look at the magnificent rodent.

The youngster raised the Rattata as high as his arms allowed, hiding his face behind it in the process "He's in the top percentage!"

"Yeah, I can tell. Look at those fangs!" Spark poked at the pure white teeth projecting from the Pokémon's mouth.

"He bites," said the youngster at the exact moment the Rattata had had enough of the finger wagging in front of it and sunk its fangs into Spark's palm. "Ratty, let go!"

"T—that's really something," Spark stuttered, tears of pain springing to his eyes as he cradled his bitten hand. It had been little more than a nibble, but his palm throbbed like it had been pierced. And yet, he couldn't stop smiling. He may have been in pain, but if that was the cost of meeting such a cool Pokemon, so be it. "Have you been raising him for long?"

"Since I became a trainer. Almost a year now." There was an obvious note of pride in the youngster's voice.

"That's awesome! I've had my Sparky since I first started too—"

Just then, a shock went through the crowd, and the people around them began talking loudly amongst themselves, too many at once for any of their words to be intelligible to Spark. Something had happened, though he wasn't sure what.

"Er, it kinda sounds like I might be needed up there." He pointed towards the restricted area with his thumb. "But hey, good luck with your journey! Keep training that Rattata, yeah? It's one of a kind."

"Thanks." The youngster turned to leave. "Go Team Instinct."

"Damn straight! Team Instinct!" Spark waved after the youngster as he disappeared into the crowd. Only after he was long out of sight did he begin to wonder if the youngster had even been a member of Team Instinct.

He shut down the radar and accessed his team's database instead. Some trainers didn't want their info there, and that was cool, but among those who were registered, not a single was a youngster with a Rattata as their buddy. Curious.

Spark did his best to recall the youngster's appearance. As far as he could remember, the kid hadn't been wearing Valor red, nor Mystic blue. Rather, the stripes on his easy-to-wear shorts had been purple, the exact same shade as the fur of a Rattata. Curiouser and curiouser.

Still, he didn't have time to think about it all. Instead, he pushed his way back towards the press table, muttering "sorry" at the excited crowd.

Once he got back to the restricted area, police were swarming like it Beedrils. Even above all the cacophony, he could hear Candela's booming voice.

"Oh, that's a real great surveillance system you devised! Can't even catch a single robber!"

Blanche had already had her arms crossed, but now she pulled them even closer to herself. "Don't pretend like your sentries accomplished anything more. I've been here the whole time, and you didn't receive a single report about suspicious people around the buildings."

"Yeah, well. With all these people around a thief could easily slip in and out of a crowd. That shouldn't bother your precious machines, though! Didn't you set any of them up inside the buildings?"

"I did. At every entrance, the same as you did with the guards. We still caught nothing unusual on tape."

Candela fumed. "Well, then the machines are faulty!"

"They are _not_ faulty." There was a rare hint of colour to Blanche's voice. "We simply must have overlooked some other way for the thief to get inside."

"Oh yeah? Yeah, maybe they could freaking teleport—"

Spark stepped forward. "Guys! Hey, guys?"

The leaders of Teams Valor and Mystic granted Spark but the most fleeting of glances before returning to bickering.

Spark sought eye contact with Professor Willow, who was standing nearby with a pensive expression. "Did something happen, Professor?"

Professor Willow sighed deeply. "Indeed. It seems that despite all of our precautions, the Top Percentage Thief has once again managed to strike unnoticed."

"Huh." Something about Professor Willow's words struck a chord with him, but the feeling passed as soon as it emerged. "What did they steal this time?"

"Not all that much. Some cash, and two small diamonds. Rather valuable, but not excessively so." Professor Willow pinched the bridge of his nose. "Either way, I should probably go relay the news to the press. See you soon."

"Okay," said Spark as he waved after the professor. Not even the fun kind of jewellery, then. Perhaps he should have stayed in the crowd and hoped to meet up with more awesome Pokémon, like the Rattata with the mean bite.

His encounter with the youngster freshly in mind, he spoke up. "Hey guys, wanna hear something funny? I saw a kid who'd been a trainer for ages, but still wasn't in any of our teams. Weird, huh? Guys?"

Whether they had heard him or not, Candela and Blanche were too busy glaring daggers at each other to acknowledge him.

"Oh, well." He scratched the back of his head. "I wonder where they sell pudding at this hour."

 

* * *

 

As soon as he was sure he wasn't being trailed, Youngster Joey slipped into the nearest alleyway. He placed Ratty on the pavement and leaned against the wall next to an abandoned bicycle, waiting.

As if they were one, silent as death, his army of Rattatas emerged from the shadows and gathered around him, forming a half-circle. Five of largest ones separated themselves from the rest, each carrying a portion of the haul in their mouths. Gently, they laid the plunder at Joey’s feet. Three sizeable stacks of bills, with only the slightest fang marks visible, and two small diamonds, glittering faintly even in the scant light of the alleyway.

Joey smiled.

"Good work," he whispered, his heart swelling with pride. Not that he ever doubted his crew, but with the police correctly guessing where he planned to strike and the extra security, there had been a lump in his throat when he had dispatched his rat burglars.

He sat down on the pavement to count the money. Not bad at all. Not the greatest haul, but with the value of the diamonds included, he was slowly but steadily inching towards three million big ones in total.

It wasn't as if he aimed to rule the world, or even the underworld. His goal was far simpler: to gather enough of a nest egg to start his own Pokemon ranch, where he could raise happy and healthy Rattatas without fear of jeers and mockery. Not the loftiest of plans, but he had thought long and hard about what would make him happy, truly happy, and in his nine years of life, he had never come up with anything half as comforting. A Rattata ranch it was.

He stashed the money and jewels in his bag and petted the nearest Rattata. No-one would bother to detain him or ask to see the contents his bag after seeing Ratty with him, and so he was free to slip to the next town and plan their next heist. Only a few months more, and he could retire in comfort, never having to worry about himself or the well-being of his favourite breed of Pokémon ever again.

Once again, he made sure no-one else was around, then whispered into the wind.

_"Go Team Rattata."_


End file.
